Some time ago, I replayed “Kingdom Hearts”, a game I had gone through two times prior, and yet, for some reason, this was the first time that something struck me. Video game bosses are weird. Not just the concept (why are they even called “bosses” to begin with?), but…you know what, have you ever beaten “Kingdom Hearts”? Or really, any Square Enix game for that matter. Because, sometimes, they have the absolute strangest abominations you’ve ever seen. It almost seems to be a requirement in such games that the final boss is the most distorted and ridiculous creature they can possibly come up with.

And so, when I was battling the final boss of “Kingdom Hearts” during my third playthrough, it was only now that it hit me just how goofy the end of the game is (goofy, not Goofy). Honestly. I mean, okay, I can accept the earlier fight against Ansem, when he has that funky Heartless thing hovering behind him all throughout the entire battle (which would bother me, personally, as I don’t do well with anyone breathing down my neck, monster or not-monster alike). But, then, once you beat him, you have another fight that is so much more absurd, where Ansem and his funky minion thing have somehow merged with a…I don’t know…a psychotic cruise ship of death that is floating out in nothingness, with faces all over it (including one face with a chin that could poke your eye out…nay, to be more accurate, it could poke your entire face out). And I don’t know why I never thought that much about it before, but the last time I saw this thing…

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