From flickr user Danny K1m

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

From flickr user Danny K1m
From flickr user Danny K1m

*Our scene opens with the writer, a tall bearded 20-something with glasses, sitting in a booth at a local diner.  He appears nervous, checking his watch, obviously waiting for someone.  A copy of the handheld hit Bravely Default walks through the door and takes a seat across from the writer.*

Hey BD, thanks for meeting me here.  I know it’s not one of our usual places, but we shared a cup of coffee here once while killing time, so I thought it would be a neutral zone for us both.  I think you know why I wanted to get together today, so let me cut to the chase.  No, please don’t interrupt; this is hard enough for me as it is.  I… think we should stop seeing each other.

Lately, it feels like our relationship is more work than play.  I have to fight an endless series of little battles with you just to make any meaningful progress in our life together, which is becoming rather predictable.  So many of these “new” jobs you have been offering lately just seem like slightly better versions of skills I already have, and let’s be honest: no amount of fresh outfits will fix the problem of starting back at level one every single time.

It wasn’t always this way.  When things were new between us, ours was a love I had never experienced before.  I could turn off the number of random encounters at any time, making the relationship effortless.  Your Bravely and Default systems mixed things up in the few fights we did endure, giving me the chance to give it my all and push through or hold back and keep a strong defense.  Even better, we had so many friends to call on whenever things got rough.  When our fighting got too intense, we could just summon one of our numerous allies who had been in these situations before to aid us.  Everything was going so well, but I suppose it wasn’t meant to last.

Look, I know it sounds clichéd, but it’s not you – it’s me.  I am just not the same guy I was when we started playing together.  I had hoped that I could still enjoy JRPGs like the good ole’ days; spending hours at a time grinding in numerous battles, getting completely lost in a quest for crystals, slogging through long dungeons for better loot.  But I just can’t do it anymore.  I need something more streamlined, where every battle works directly towards a greater goal and I don’t lose narrative momentum in order to grind.

So I guess this is good-bye and thanks for the memories.  I know there are plenty of other people who would love the chance to spend time with you, but I am not one of them.

I’ll take my 3DS back now, thanks.


For more of Chip’s humor and unique perspectives on gaming, check out Games I Made My Girlfriend Play right now!

7 thoughts on “Breaking Up is Hard to Do”

    1. After years of playing RPG’s, I’m starting to get tired of grinding, too. (Oh, my gosh, and I’m stuck doing it again in “FF9″. Just let me progress through the darn game already!)

    1. Whenever I saw this game in the past, I thought it looked interesting, but now I see it’s good I never bought it. I already have plenty of games that make me suffer through hours of random fights, thank you very much.

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