Ever wondered what life might look like from the perspective of a video game console? No? Uh…oh. Is it weird that I have? Don’t answer that. Instead, blissfully follow me in this three-part series where I imagine how the trappings for humanity might appear to a game console. Could be any game console, maybe that game console you’re staring at right now. Yep, that very one.

Next up, prospering into adulthood.

Image by Flickr user Valentin Ottone

Wow. And I mean…wow! That was AWESOME! You just blasted through that sixty hour game in a week! It doesn’t get any better than that, does it? You go pick up a new game on a Tuesday and then…BAM! One week later, you defeat that final boss and the game goes on the shelf. That’s pretty darn cool. It’s also cool that your spring break coincided with a vacation from work. I mean, you know as well as I that doesn’t happen very often. Or…y’know…not often enough. Remember back in high school where a week off was totally, like, a week off. Over 150 hours of just you, me, maybe a couple of friends, and a game. Great games, bad games, it didn’t matter, because you were having fun. And lots of it.

Things have changed a lot since then; you know that better than me. Used to be…oh, yeah, you take a nap. It’s alright. I’m just going to cool down here for a little while.

As I was saying, used to be that we’d spend lots of nights and weekends together. But you became busy with afterschool stuff and friends, and…well…friends who became more than friends. I still saw you most nights, but time on the weekends became sparser. Instead of seeing you both days, maybe we’d get together for a few hours on Sunday afternoon.  And it was great, seeing you then. We always had a blast! Maybe it’d be a couple days before we next saw each other, but you’d always come back, sometimes with a new game, sometimes with a game you had played already.  You always had fun. *yawn* And lots of it.

Hmmm, I’m about ready for a nap myself.

A few days later…

Huh. The apartment’s been kind of quiet lately. Last time I heard you chatting with your friends, it sounded like you had met…someone. Someone who could be special? Maybe you’ve been spending time elsewhere? Or maybe it’s that term paper you’ve totally got to finish by the end of the month. This is no library, I know. But, I’m always here for you when you need a welcome distraction. There are a couple new games coming out that you’re probably…wait — voices? Oh cool, you’re ba…ahh, hi guys. You guys. You crazy kids, you! Now that the two of you are here how about some…uhhh. Oh c’mon! I don’t see you for a couple days and you just start right in…I mean, the stairs are right there… Okay, okay, the couch it is. Have it! Don’t mind me any. No way I can compete with that…um, entertainment.

The next day…

What do you mean you broke up?? Last night you both were…so… I mean… Yeah, I heard the arguing but… Look, I’m not complaining, you’re here now chatting with friends and playing, that’s all good stuff for me. Just, y’know…the sweatpants. Was it really that bad?

Twelve hours later…

Uh…don’t you think you should eat…something? You’ve been shooting things for awhile now. I get that you’re angry and sad, but I don’t know if that’s cause for starvation. Also…did you get a shower? Cause I’m not so sure on that front.

Another twelve hours later….

Good morning sunshine. Yep, my clock says it’s early morning, and you look a wreck. Sorry, but it’s true! You passed out a few hours ago. And yeah, I’m still running…low power y’know…but yeah, I’m still on. I’m on the start screen though cause somehow in your stupor you managed to beat the game again. So there’s that. But enough about me you need…food. Exactly. And a shower wouldn’t hurt either. In fact, shower first, and then get food. Last time I caught a glimpse of your fridge, it looked like the morning after in Fallout 3.

Two weeks later…

Hey, look who got back on track! Yeah, I’ve seen you hustling these past couple weeks trying to get things done.  I’m sure you nailed that term paper, and with as franctic as you’ve been, I bet things have been busy at work.  And it looks like you and your friend patched things up! Judging by the cups, plates, and food around here, it looks like you’re gearing up to par-tay! I already hear a crowd at the door. Have fun! Tomorrow we play, but tonight is all about you and your friends! Just don’t forget to pick up that game you pre-ordered, huh? Also, how about trying harder to keep the beer away from the electronics? You know what happened last time…