Image by Flickr user  Cyril Vallée.

From the Console’s Perspective: The Onset of Middle Age

Ever wondered what life might look like from the perspective of a video game console? No? Uh…oh. Is it weird that I have? Don’t answer that. Instead, blissfully follow me in this three-part series where I imagine how the trappings for humanity might appear to a game console. Could be any game console, maybe that game console you’re staring at right now. Yep, that very one.

Finally, you’re an adult with adult responsibilities. Deal with it.

Image by Flickr user  Cyril Vallée.
Image by Flickr user Cyril Vallée

It’s quiet here.


Everyone’s at work and its quiet. I wish it was a peaceful quiet that I felt, but in reality, I feel disquieted, concerned, uneasy. It’s been several weeks since anyone has stopped. Stopped to pay attention. Stopped to play a game.

*more crickets*

Y’know what’s really crazy? Despite that fact that I keep hearing how nobody around here has any time to play, the number of games on the shelf over there keeps growing! It’s just mean to keep teasing like that. Sure, you see a game you want to play on sale somewhere and it’s easy enough to buy it, but you don’t think for one moment about how that makes me feel, do you? I see the new game and get all exciting thinking that after weeks of silence I’m finally going to get to fulfill my entire reason for being! But no, the game just sits there while you run around like mad! What good does that do anyone??

Look, I don’t mean to complain. I…I’m sorry. I know, I know. It’s just…well. I saw people with clipboards and tape measures here the other day, and I just know that means you’re doing another renovation. Wasn’t the last one enough? Last time I was put away for nearly two months before seeing the light of day! I appreciate the careful packing, but still. Why’d you move me in here if you just planned on rearranging things anyway??

Sorry…sorry again with the temper. It’s just…I hardly see you anymore. We used to have so much fun together! We used to hang out for hours on end. Now, you have to use those hours for other things – renovations, cleaning, entertaining…being an…an…adult. It’s just the worst! No, not for you, but for me! Don’t you remember the days when the world revolved around me?!

Okay, okay…no…no need for…I’ll dial it back. It’s not like I’m really talking to anyone anyway, except that ugly porcelain plate. Yuck. Why’d you get that thing again?

Uh…but c’mon, the good old days! You remember, right? Now it seems I only see you when you’re sick, or at best, “sick” (hint hint nudge nudge). Or maybe, just maybe, for an hour or two on the occasional weekend. It’s not like you make any real progress in what you’re playing, but we still have a good time together. It’s just…well…I miss you. And I know  you miss me too. I hear the weekend conversations about how you really want to squeeze in some time with that new game, but good intentions only go so far. Suddenly it’s Sunday night and you’re cleaning up from a family get-together. And the most action I’ve seen is from a curious toddler who accidentally hit my power button. It’s…sad. It makes me sad to see you come and go so quickly without stopping. Without remembering.

Sure, okay…you remember. I mean, you’re still buying games. You’re still staying on top of game news, the culture, the events, but…your priorities, they’re different.  You can’t help that. You’ve progressed, grown, and become a “working member of society.” You’ve got a mortgage and a job and a life to maintain. You’ve got everything going for you in all the right ways! And I’ll always be here for you, in those times of stress, or when you just need to escape for a moment, or when you’re really sick or just “sick.” The games will be here. I will be here. I’ll suffer again through the renovations (you have it much worse there, honestly), I’ll tolerate with sticky toddler hands. I’ll be content to…

*keys, door, excited voices*

Hey, you guys are home early! What’s with the…?  Huh? Did I just hear…

A baby?! Oh wow, you’re going to have a baby! That’s great!

Wow. A new addition to the family, incredible! Looks like there’s a chance that the cycle might begin again.


Thanks for coming with me on this odd journey of oddness. But these posts have only presented my visions. What are yours? If you dare to consider it, if your video game console could talk, what would it say to you right now?

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